Rebellious
by RebelVampire666
Summary: Everyone rebels, half-vampires included. Renesmee isn't sold on her family's lifestyle and decides to explore alternative options, but is she prepared for the consequences?
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first fanfic, just a one-shot that I _had_ to write-like the universe wanted me to. Read and review, but please be nice for the sake of my fragile self esteem.

**RenesmeePOV**

Jake didn't know about this, and I was hoping it would stay that way. It's not like I was cheating or anything, I did love Jacob with everything I had in me, but I knew he would disapprove. Okay, disapprove is the wrong word; he would be disgusted, repulsed, horrified and even frightened. I didn't want to have to face that.

My parents didn't know either, but, if they found out, I was sure that they would at least understand why I was doing it-even if the reason was partly to rebel against them.

From when I was born I was encouraged to drink blood from animals, and even to try human food (which I mostly hated, except for chocolate dipped strawberries, which turned out to be almost as good as blood) and I had not tasted human blood since I was a baby. Most importantly though, I have never drunk blood directly from a living human, which I had always longed to do. Today I would give in to that longing.

I had lured the teenage boy who was close to my age, around seventeen (I was sixteen and a quarter, and looked almost eighteen-the way I would be forever) into my room while my family went hunting out of state and Jake was visiting Paul and Rachel in their new home in Rhode island. This was the first time I had been left alone for more than a day, ever, but my family trusted me-not the safest thing to do, that. The boy's name was Darien and, of course, he assumed I was your typical, run-of-the-mill bad girl looking for some fun. He would be sorely disappointed, and more than a little terrified, when he found out why I _really_ wanted to get him into bed.

I had known Darien for all of 40 minutes and we were sitting on my bed, wrapped in each others embraces. Acting on impulse alone, I placed my palm against his bare chest and flashed him a brief image of what was going to happen once I got close enough to his throat. I was going to kill him, that was certain, but first I wanted to play with him-psychologically. I was surprised at myself, I'd had no idea I was capable of such sadism. But I was not so surprised that I couldn't enjoy his sudden stiffening-in fear, no doubt. He pulled back to look at me, and I looked innocently confused as I met his gaze. Not too innocent, of course. I heard him mutter something like "…going crazy dude, I swear you are." Then I smiled at him, with just the right amount of evil evident in my expression, and leaned toward him-his neck, that is. I started "kissing" his throat where the blood ran thickest, feeling it pulsing-so close to the surface. Ignoring the pain in my throat, I placed my right hand on the back of his neck, bringing it toward myself and subsequently tilting his head back a few inches in a predatory manner. Then, becoming totally unaware of my surroundings as usual, I showed him a scenario that started with us in the exact position we were in in real life.

_**I pulled back so he could see me smile evilly at him, before lunging toward him, mouth agape. There was a wild look in my eyes as I tore his throat out, drinking his quickly spilling blood as his screams grew ever quieter, and then stopped. I grinned as I licked my lips, shoving the body aside.**_

Back in reality, I pulled back so he could see me smile evilly at him. He screamed. He got up as fast as humanly possible and ran for the door-still at human speed. I was faster than a human, naturally, so I blocked his escape and caught his shoulders, pulling his throat closer to my teeth. I could both hear and feel his heart racing, racing towards its final beat. I was ready to go in for the kill.…When I heard the door open behind me, and a simultaneous gasp. I turned around slowly, still holding Darien, and looked to see who the gasp came from. I could only pray that it wasn't Jake. It wasn't, it was the second worst person to walk in on this-my dad.

Upon seeing his shocked and disappointed face I was suddenly extremely mad at him. What did he think, I was gonna behave myself like the good little girl he wants me to be? That I would spend the weekend shopping or watching the old movies that filled a whole cabinet beside the T.V.? As if. I didn't speak-he could hear me just fine. He broke the short silence, in a very angry-overprotective-father-ish tone, I might add.

"What do you think you're doing with that"-dramatic pause-"boy? I leave you alone for two days and come back to find that every shred of innocence you once possessed has flown out the window! Well you listen to me young lady, whatever freedom you had before is gone, and don't think Jacob won't hear about th-what are you doing," he almost whispered, his voice holding a very pronounced menace as well as an unspoken threat-both of which I ignored as I pulled the limp boy closer to me, and then slowly placed my open mouth over the pulse that was so prominent, just under the thin, breakable layer of skin. All the while dad was shouting at me.

"What do you think you're doing? Don't even think about trying to-if you so much as _touch_ his neck…! You get you're mouth away from him this instant! If you so much as _consider_ biting him you will regret it! I won't hesitate to ground you for the next century, you delinquent child!"

I had hoped he would understand. But of course, it was like him to over react. I was sure that with some time to cool off he would be fine, but until then I tuned him out and focussed my attention on Darien's jugular vein. His even pulse was so inviting, so welcoming and enticing, as though he was silently beckoning to me, begging me to do it, to bite. So I did.

My father was full on screaming now, but I wasn't listening to him. My every sense was entirely focussed on the sensation of feeding from a live human. For the most part, it was a lot like feeding from any animal-the fading heartbeat, the struggling to get free, the pitiful attempts to fight me off, the cries of anguish. But the taste. Of course I had tasted human blood, though not recently, and it definitely tasted similar, but that blood had been donated. It was kept in plastic bags in a fridge for days on end; it was dead in a sense. This blood was alive, and I had never enjoyed human blood this way before; pumping, flowing into me endlessly. I drank slowly, savouring every drop, because I knew this would be the last time it would happen-possibly for decades or even centuries, what with my being grounded and all.

When I was done I threw the bloodless corpse to the ground and straightened up to face my father. Even though he looked physically younger than me, he was terrifying when he looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I'm disappointed in you, Renesmee." Could a parent say anything more upsetting and disarming? I doubted it. "I had hoped that you could be trusted alone, but I see now that I was wrong. Now, I'm going to go get your mother, and she is going to decide on your punishment." With that he left.

I had known from the start that there really was no way to keep my dad in the dark about these kinds of things, and I had known that I would face punishment. I knew now that the punishment would be worse than anticipated, because I had not only killed a human in my family's own house, violating all their beliefs, but I had also directly disobeyed my father, and probably deeply hurt my boyfriend on top of it all. I was not to keen on facing everyone today-or ever. And I was afraid of my mother's wrath. She had never really needed to punish me before, so I didn't know what to expect. I was scared.

But it was worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

My mother was deeply upset by my actions. She lectured me about self control – telling me the story about the first time she hunted – honesty, and empathy. She said it would be up to me to tell Jake about my "selfish and wholly uncalled for actions" and that I had better be completely honest with him or else. In the end, my actual punishment wasn't all that bad – no blood for at least 2 months or until I had learned my lesson. She was going to ground me for an indeterminate amount of time as well, but she decided that wasn't fair to Jacob, so she agreed that, if he could get past everything, I would be allowed to go out with him but not alone and not with other friends. Not that I usually went out with anyone else, the kids at my school were exceedingly dull.

I called Jake; I didn't think I'd be able to handle doing this in person. He answered on the first ring, like he usually did.

"Nessie, what's up?" I could tell by what I heard on the other end that he was alone and probably outside. Going for a walk, maybe, or working on his soon-to-be-car. I wanted to ask what he was doing but I knew that I would just be stalling, so instead I came right out with it.

"I killed a human." The line was quiet for 120 seconds, so I decided to just keep talking. "I wish I could say that it was an accident or that I don't know what came over me, but both of those would be untrue. I deliberately lured him into my room with the promise of sex. I didn't actually … I mean, nothing happened. I just … killed him. Is all." I had heard Jake cry twice before, once when he found out that his sister had cancer (the operation had gone well and she was fine now) and once with me when we realized that we would never have children. It was not a sound I would soon forget and I recognized it instantly in voice when he spoke that one broken syllable.

"Why?"

"Jake, I … I want to say I'm sorry. And I am. I'm sorry that I hurt you. You must understand that that was never my intention. I didn't ever want you to find out."

"So you were just going to lie to me?" he demanded indignantly. What could I say?

"Yes. But please, let me try to explain. My whole life I've fed on animals or donated blood, not because I wanted to but because I was told to. It's about time I learn what I really want, and the best way to do that is to try new things. This is how it's going to be now and you either accept it or don't. I'm not happy with you loving a version of me that doesn't reflect who I really am. I need you to love and accept all of me or none of me. If this is going to be the thing that you can't get over, which I would completely understand, I need you to tell me now." There was a brief pause before he asked the one question I couldn't answer.

"Are you going to be killing as, like, a regular thing now?"

"I don't know, Jacob," I answered honestly.

"Renesmee … I need to think. I'm not okay with you killing people and I don't want it to become a regular thing. I'm not sure if I can forgive you for this one time, let alone if it does become a regular thing. In that case, though it will kill me, I won't be able to do this. That will be the end of what we have. I'll always love you but I can't be with a killer. In the meantime, I think we need to take a break while you … figure things out."

"Okay," I replied quietly and the line went dead. The tears were already flowing by the time I had pressed the "end call" button.

They didn't stop for two days.

House arrest provides ample time for thinking, so that's what I did. Mostly I thought about morality and why killing was wrong. I came up with dozens of reasons why I should feel bad about taking a human life but I still didn't. One day I decided to speak to Jasper. He had a bloody past so I hoped he would be able to provide some insight.

"Do you imagine," he began after I 'showed' him why I was upset, "that I feel remorse for the lives I've taken?"

This took me completely off guard and I truthfully answered, "Well I did, right up until you said that." He laughed in a way that made me think that I had just said exactly what he had expected me to say.

"It's an easy mistake to make. You remember when I told you my story?"

"Yes," I said. It had been a few years ago. It had terrified me at the time, but I had grown to accept his frightening past as part of the wonderful whole that was Jasper. "You said you stopped killing because of your talent. You shared the feelings of your prey and you couldn't stand it."

"Yes, that's it exactly. I stopped because it benefited me to do so. I respect humans and empathise with them, certainly, but that doesn't mean I think it's wrong to hunt them."

"Like the Native Americans?" I asked. He thought for a moment.

"Yes, like that. We are hunters, humans are our prey. That is the natural state. It is right and fair as long as we don't abuse our power or kill more than necessary."

"But if I can subside on animals, isn't killing any human more than necessary?"

"Well, that's up to you. But let me ask you this, and I apologize for using such a cliché example. Would you judge the lion for killing the gazelle?"

I thought about that. Of course I wouldn't, but was it an appropriate analogy? After all, we were intelligent. But, then, so were dolphins and they hunted. Jasper sensed my confusion and guessed its origin. He asked, "Are you an animal, Renesmee?"

"Yes, I suppose, technically," I answered reservedly.

"So why hold yourself to standards different than those to which you would hold a lion?"

"Because I'm more intelligent than the lion, I guess."

"Okay, how about dolphins? Or, better yet, humans. Both intelligent species hunt for their food, so why shouldn't you?"

"I do, but I'd rather not hunt another intelligent species. Dolphins don't, humans don't. It's the same standard."

"That's fair. But let's go back to your Native Americans. Did they not believe that animals were intelligent? Indeed, that they had something like a soul? And yet, they killed."

"…yes…" I said hesitantly. I hadn't really thought about that. Could I really respect humans as fellow intelligent beings while still hunting them?

"It's something to think about, anyway," Jasper said. "If you want my advice though, figure this out now. Moral ambivalence will not serve you or your relationships. The way I see it, it is better to have a definite moral code than to waver because you can't be sure what you think is right. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm glad I could help, even a little, and I'm flattered that you brought this to me first. Though I'm curious why you didn't talk to your father, I'm sure he would understand what you're going through more than I, given his history."

"What history would that be?" I asked, confused. Hadn't he always been a vegetarian? Or did he mean his human life?

"I dare not tell if he hasn't. Talk to him, though. I think you'll find him more sympathetic than you expect."

"You were gone for _years_?" I repeated again, still not really getting my head around the idea. In just a few minutes my view of my father had changed completely and irrevocably. Here I had thought that he, like my mother, had never taken a human life. To hear now that he had taken dozens if not hundreds was shocking to say the least.

"Yes. I thought that I could avoid guilt by doing the world a favour and ridding it of evil. That idea, I think, came from the same idea that made me think being a soldier would be gratifying. I was wrong, of course. When I realized that, I came home." It made an illogical sort of sense, I supposed. I knew that my father had always cared very deeply about justice, though I had never directly connected that idea with the image of him taking it into his own hands in order to punish the wicked. In fact, I'd heard him criticize the Volturi for doing essentially the same thing.

"Are you upset with me for not sharing this part of my life with you earlier?"

"No. I know that I would not have understood when I was younger."

"Your kindness is becoming, Renesmee. What I want you to get out of all this is that I understand what you're going through. It's my job as a father to teach you what I think is right. But it is also my job to give you the freedom to decide for yourself what you want and need, now that you're old enough. I don't want you to kill anyone, Renesmee. It makes me sad. But it also makes me sad to see you unhappy, even more so when it's my fault. Do you understand why your mother and I are punishing you right now?"

"…No." It sounded like he was saying that it _wasn't_ because I killed someone.

"It's because you broke the rules. You disrespected our authority and deceived us. You took advantage of our trust. That's why I'm upset. If you had been honest and told us that you wanted to explore your identity I could have accepted that. Your mother would still be upset, of course. She is deeply bothered by the idea of killing humans, as you know. But I'm certain that she, too, would have understood." He was right, of course. I should never have tried to deceive my parents. I was sad for hurting them and I was sure that, especially after hearing this, I would have a much more open relationship with them.

"That's very good to hear, Renesmee. I'm sure your punishment will be over in no time."

"Thanks, dad," I said. We hugged tightly for a few moments. "I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too."

"I know what I said," he began before I had said hello, "but I've been thinking and I think this can work. As long as you aren't killing anyone or planning to right now, I still want to see you. These past weeks have killed me. I miss you." It had been three weeks since I last spoke to Jacob and I hadn't been expecting a call. I thought that I would have to call him and I wasn't even sure he would pick up. I was elated but I tried not to show it. The last thing I wanted was to push Jake into something he might regret.

"I miss you too, Jacob, but are you sure? I don't feel bad about killing that boy. Doesn't that bother you?"

"Yes of course it does, but that's my problem. You were right, you need to figure out who you are and I need to tolerate you while you're doing that. My family did the same thing for me and I for them. That's just what you do with the people you love. I love you Renesmee. I love you and I need to be with you."

"If you're feeling guilty, don't. Your reaction was completely reasonable."

"Stop trying to talk me out of this, Nessie."

"Okay, okay. I would have been able to take time away from us for you, but if this is what you want, I'm more than happy to comply. I love you too. No matter what happens, that will never change."

So we tried to make it work. I was surprised how easily we both seemed to forget the tension and the problems when we were together. Well, outwardly anyway. If Jake could read my mind he probably wouldn't have been so thrilled to spend time around me. I couldn't stop thinking about the taste of his blood and the sound of his failing heart. I wanted to feel it all again. I suppose that was part of the reason for what I did next.


	3. Chapter 3

Jake and I were having sandwiches at the food court in the mall. Today was the last day of my punishment, so I was pretty happy. I didn't really mind human food – that is, it tasted okay, if bland – but there was one thing about it I didn't think I'd ever get over. I'd discovered to my chagrin and Jake's amusement that human food, unlike blood, could not all be used by my body and so produced waste. Yuck.

"Enjoying your last meal?" Jake asked jokingly.

"Ha ha," I replied sarcastically, "and, yes, it's fine." I'm not sure what his response was – though I'm certain it was oh-so-clever – because I was distracted at that moment by a group of teens that sat down a few tables away from us. Five of them were ordinary, unremarkable humans. The other three, two boys and a girl, were hybrids. I was struck, not for the fist time, by the obliviousness of humans. My eyes could so clearly distinguish the humans from the non-humans that it was strange that no one else seemed able to tell.

The three hybrids' senses were as keen as mine so I was not surprised that they were all watching me out of the corners of their eyes. I caught the girl's eye and told Jake that I had to attend to my body, hoping that the girl, who I knew could hear me, would get the message. Jake laughed and I walked over to the restrooms at the far end of the food court.

She got up and followed.

I walked into the ladies room and waited until the door shut behind the girl, the hybrid, who came in just after me before speaking.

"My name is Renesmee, don't ask. I saw you and I just had to meet you." The girl had long hair, light brown with highlights and lowlights. Her eyes were an interesting shade of blue and her creamy skin looked slightly tanned, like she had been out in the sun a lot in the past, but not for months.

"The feeling is, admittedly, mutual. I would have thought I would have known of any other like us in this area. Clearly I was mistaken. My name is Jamie, by the way. My companions are Sean and Chris."

"I couldn't help but notice that you specified 'in this area.' Does that mean there are others elsewhere? I know of a few in South America somewhere, but that's it."

She studied me with her strange eyes, maybe wondering how I could be so ignorant. "Oh there are plenty, most fairly young." She said the last two words like they applied specifically to me. "Apparently some big thing happened involving a young hybrid girl about sixteen and a half years ago, quite near here actually, that alerted everyone to the possibility of hybrids. I'm given to understand that before that there were less than half a dozen of us, hidden away somewhere. I can't really say, though, since I was born only 13 years ago. Of course, now there are hundreds of us throughout the world. I imagine there would be more if it weren't so difficult to actually impregnate a human woman without killing her."

"Oh. That's, uh…yeah." I wasn't sure how to feel about the revelation that I was indirectly responsible for the birth of hundreds of hybrids, and probably the death of hundreds of innocent human women.

"How old are you?" Jamie asked innocently.

"Have you lived here long?" I said in a rush. Smooth.

Her eyes – what was so off about them? – tightened in suspicion. She clearly caught that I was avoiding the question, but she chose to let it go, bless her. "No, I've always been sort of nomadic. I lived with my father until he was executed for unrelated reasons two years ago, and now I travel With Sean and Chris. We've been here about five months and we'll probably leave fairly soon. One place gets boring, you know? Not to mention the body count can get suspicious." At that moment I realized why her eyes looked unusual – hiding behind the blue were barely perceptible flecks of red, certainly invisible to human eyes. I wondered if she had noticed the gold flecks in my brown eyes.

"That makes sense," I said. One of the best things about being vegetarian had always been the semi-sedentary lifestyle it offered. "So what are Sean and Chris? I mean, are they related?"

"They were raised as brothers but they're sort of cousins. It was Sean's father who created Chris' father. This was before either of them was born."

"And are they in touch? Their fathers, I mean."

"Once in a while they visit. God knows how they find us, but they do. About once a year."

"That's cool. I really can't imagine being away from my family for that long. Speaking of which, I should probably get back to my boyfriend."

"Oh, yeah, me too. Not my boyfriend, I mean. My friends. Do you have an email?"

I gave her the email that I actually checked. "Oh, sure. It's plusquemaproprevie at hotmail dot com, all lower case. You?"

" 11 at rogers dot com all lowercase."

I wanted to ask what the significance of those letters was but I was worried it was something personal like mine, so I didn't say anything for the moment. Besides, I would have time to ask later, I was sure. I really did want to talk to this girl and, if she was anything like me, I had a feeling I wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.

I was right. When I got home at quarter to ten, there was an email from Jaime waiting for me. It was essentially an introduction. In it, Jaime told me where she was going to school, what TV shows she liked (including Doctor Who, to which her email address was apparently a reference), and where she liked to shop.

I wasn't sure if she was still up but I decided I might as well reply now. I explained that I was more of a book person and didn't watch much TV and told her about the books I had recently enjoyed. I expressed my similar tastes in clothes and told her the name of my high school. I thought it only fair that I also explain where my email address came from, so I did that too. Her response related to books she liked, one of which was about mythology, which I found interesting, so we talked about that for a while. And so it went.

At about midnight she sent a message ending with, "I wasn't sure if I should ask, but I'd like to know. So, no offence, but – your boyfriend, what is he?" For a second I thought she was asking if he was a college student. Then I remembered that she could smell him as clearly as I could, and he smelled far from human and farther from half-vampire. Unsure exactly how private his nature was I simply replied, "He's different."

I suppose she was just trying to change the subject with her next message, but I wished she had changed it some other way. "You never did mention how old you were. It's okay if you don't want to tell me, I'm just sort of curious why. Sorry if I'm prying." My first response was to shut down my laptop right then. Upon second thought, I decided it didn't really matter. I wasn't actually famous (or infamous), I didn't even do anything. My parents did something a lot of people heard about and responded to, that was all.

"It's no problem, really. I was born September 10th, 2006," I typed. It was surprisingly hard to hit send. Her response came about a minute later; I imagined she took some time to stop hyperventilating.

"But that's amazing, everyone has heard of you. I can't believe it's really you. You seem so normal. Not in a bad way, of course." I could hear her jaw dropping through the text. I was glad we weren't face to face; it would have been doubly embarrassing if she saw the dark blush that spread across my face. Before she could pull out her phone and start texting I shot back,

"Please don't tell. It's sort of embarrassing, you understand. People would treat me like a celebrity or something. The hybrid who lived."

"The implication being that you are the chosen one? Lol, jk. I understand. I promise I won't tell." That was a relief. The last thing I wanted was to ruin friendships before they even started.

We talked for a while longer, neither of us noticing how tired we each must have been. We finally called it quits around 3 am. By the end of it I felt like Jamie and I knew each other as well as any schoolmates who had shared a semester of their lives. I wondered if she felt the same way. At any rate she seemed to be comfortable enough to invite me to hang out with her after school. At first I was disappointed, thinking I would have to say no. Then I recalled that, as of a few hours ago, I was no longer grounded. I told her I'd love to; I just had to ask my parents.

I shut down my laptop and tried to get some sleep. My mind was racing with all this new information and excitement, which made sleep difficult. When it eventually cam, I dreamed of running through the woods with Jamie, knowing I did not need to worry about going home. We slept when we were tired and hunted when we were thirsty. I woke with a faint feeling of wind in my hair.

It was a Sunday morning. The sky was steel gray. This morning my family and I were all hunting (mountain lion – a rare treat) to celebrate the end of my punishment. Jake asked to come but I told him it was sort of a family thing, and that he could come on those once we were married. I think he wanted to argue but my last comment sealed his lips rather effectively. Out of courtesy I hadn't pointed out how funny he looked with his cheeks stained bright scarlet.

I dressed in a burgundy track suit, one of a few I had bought specifically for hunting. It wasn't so much that I was messy, I had gotten fairly good over the years, it was more because Alice refused to let me take the risk with the things she bought me.

We were gone for about two hours, all told. The hunt was a ton of fun and it was great to drink animal blood again even though I now knew something better. At some point I had apparently gotten into some sort of competition with Emmet. I wasn't sure what the rules were but when we got back he made it clear that he had won. I decided it wasn't worth arguing and let him have his victory.

"Was there something you wanted to ask us, Renesmee?" my father asked suddenly when we were back at the house. I realized I had been letting my mind wander to my plans with Jamie.

"Oh, yeah." I went over to my mother who seemed a bit confused and told her in my own way about Jamie and her friends and asked if I could hang out with them some time. I knew she must have 'heard' the question, but she seemed preoccupied, as did my father. I realized that they must have known as much as I did about the situation with hybrids. While my mother had about the same reaction as I had, my father simply seemed intrigued as he explained to the others.

"Yes it's very interesting, I know. So can I hang out with them?" I asked.

"Bring your cell phone," was all my mother responded. I went to go email Jamie and set a date.


	4. Chapter 4

CH.4

Sean and Chris had improv club after school on Mondays, so it was about four thirty when we met at their house. I don't know what I expected, but for some reason I was surprised that they lived in a real house, one with water, electricity, and internet. It had belonged to a recluse – legally it still did – who had died off the record about five months ago.

"But how can you afford all this?" I asked, perplexed.

"That's on me," Chris answered.

"He's a hooker," Sean supplied without missing a beat. Jamie laughed and Chris punched him playfully in the shoulder.

"I can sort of turn my talent on and off," Chris continued. "When it's turned on, people can't say no to me. I dress like a homeless guy and hang out outside banks and casinos – places where people can be expected to have large amounts of cash on them – and just ask them to give me what they have, which they do. This is during the night, of course, to limit witnesses."

"Jeez, you're kind of intimidating," I told him. Sean clearly found my comment hilarious. I waited for his laughter to subside before continuing. "So you could just make anyone do anything you wanted?" I shivered at the thought of what could be done with such power. Chris seemed like a good person, but they say that power corrupts. Given my experiences with the Volturi, I was inclined to believe that phrase.

"Well, not exactly. Some people have stronger wills, I guess you could say. It doesn't always work. If they're intoxicated I barely need to use my talent at all. But some people, if they're sober, I could be focusing as much as I can and they just walk by like I'm not there. I haven't figured out why or how to tell the difference between hard and easy marks without just trying on them.

"And I can usually only make people do things within their nature. Almost everyone is capable of giving money to a street kid, but not everyone is capable of, say, murder, or being attracted to a man. I found that out the hard way when I was hitting on this guy from my comp-sci class."

"Oh! you're …" I trailed off when I realized I was speaking out loud.

Sean laughed, whether at my outburst or my face I couldn't tell. Sadly, unlike my mother, I could blush.

"I mean, that's pretty, uhm …" I got that my reaction was abnormal but I didn't now what the normal response was. "Sorry, I've just never met anyone … I mean, I guess I knew objectively that someone could be, uhm, like that, but … I'm just more sheltered than I realized, I guess. I'm sorry. Don't hate me." Impossibly, my blush had gotten even deeper.

Chris was chuckling quietly, so I mustn't have been in too much trouble. "Don't worry about it. I've never met a half-vamp who had two living parents before, so I figure we're even. Anyway, I was talking about Lukas. He let me cheat off him no problem, so I'm pretty sure he isn't one of the really strong willed people, but when I tried to make a move at the Halloween dance I found out that, one, he is straighter than uncooked spaghetti and, two, that was enough for my talent to not work. He flat-out rejected me. It sucked but at least I learned something about my talent."

"Oh, gosh." It was good to know that his power had limits, though to find out in such a way must have been terrible. "I can't imagine the embarrassment," I added sympathetically.

"Don't tell me you've never been rejected," Sean laughed, evidently expecting that I had, indeed, been rejected at some point. Or perhaps he was being ironic, and it was a compliment? His jocular smile suggested the latter, so I smiled back when I answered.

"Well, I've only ever been interested in one guy and we've been dating for ten – actually, almost eleven years." Sean looked puzzled for some reason.

"That's … how old did you say you were?" Oh – I'd slipped up. Eleven years ago, he may not have even been born. Well, I supposed Jamie already knew and it wasn't an important secret anyway. What was I so worried about, really? Still, I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Sixteen. And five months."

Sean and Chris had a lot of questions, which I tried to answer to the best of my ability. I discovered that the story going around was fare more dramatic than what had actually happened. I sensed the boys' disappointment as I shot down every ridiculous myth. One of our number _had_ opened a chasm in the ground, but a dozen Volturi had _not_ fallen in and burned up in the Earth's mantle. When my talent came up they insisted on a demonstration, so I 'showed' them how tired I was getting of the questions. Still, they asked about my family and my childhood until Jamie finally rescued me, seeing my discomfort as the questions got more personal.

"Of course, with you're life being so unique and sheltered, you must have questions for us as well," she interjected over Sean. After shooting her a look of pure gratitude, I asked the first thing that popped into my head.

"What do you guys do for fun?"

"You mean besides the constant orgies?" Sean asked with a smirk, narrowly dodging a jab from Chris.

"Yes, obviously besides those," I responded quickly, partly to cover up my embarrassment. As if Emmet's innuendoes when he was in the room with me and Jake weren't bad enough.

"Shopping, for one," Jamie said. "I don't usually buy that much, but I love trying on clothes and jewellery. Y'know, I thought about getting my lip pierced once, but then I remembered that my skin is invulnerable."

I had to laugh at that. "Yeah, I suppose that would put a damper on such plans."

"I've been clubbing once or twice," Chris told me, "but I don't really have anyone to go with, y'know. Like, other gay guys I mean."

"Are there clubs just for gay guys?"

"There are probably clubs just for Latino gay guys who read Anne Rice. They can get pretty specific, yeah."

"I did not know that. Sean, what about you?"

Sean shrugged. "I play a lot of videogames."

"He's not kidding," Chris added. "It isn't healthy how much he plays."

"Hey, you play video games too."

"Exactly, I play them; I don't eat sleep and breathe them."

"You're exaggerating."

"Yeah, it's called hyperbole. It's a literary device wherein an overstatement is used to illustrate a point."

Sean clearly had a witty retort prepared but I spoke up in hopes of cutting the argument short. "So, Chris, you like English then?" They both looked over at me, perhaps just remembering that they weren't alone.

"Yeah, I do. It's my best subject."

"Yeah, I love English too. How do you feel about Shakespeare?" William Shakespeare was possibly my favourite playwright.

"I have a love-hate relationship with Shakespeare. It bother's me that he uses dialogue to deliver stage directions for the actors and I find that a lot of his characters are rather flat, but the poetry is beautiful and I am always amazed at how much thought he seems to put into every word."

"Really? I feel the same about the poetry, but I never thought of his characters as flat. In fact, with the plots being so predictable, the characters are the most fun aspect. I mean, there's so much to look at, so much to analyse."

"Too much, if you ask me. One shouldn't need to pick apart a character's every action to understand who they are. The author is supposed to provide that information upfront."

"I also like drawing," Jamie said. Now I recalled that there were other people in the room who probably didn't care about my conversation with Chris.

"Sorry about that. What do you draw?"

"Actually, I don't draw that often anymore. I used to love doing still life. I would just take an object that I found interesting – a plant, a glass figurine, whatever – and just draw it. It's good because I don't need to have original ideas."

"I heard this saying once," I told her, "That every reader is a writer. Basically, if you can appreciate art you can create it. Do you think that might work for visual art as well?"

"Hm. Maybe. I have done original things, I just don't like them."

"They are great, though," Chris interjected. "I especially like the one with S – "

"So what do you do for fun, Renesmee?" Jamie suddenly asked, cutting off Chris. I glanced at Sean, who seemed confused. I wondered how long this had been going on, but I didn't say anything. If Jamie wasn't telling, I wouldn't either. "You said you don't get out much. I know you read a lot, do you do anything else?"

"Well, I spend a lot of time just hanging out with my family and my boyfriend. They're all pretty different, so if I'm with my aunt Alice we might go shopping but if I'm with my dad we might talk philosophy. Whatever, really; I just like being with them."

"So do you hunt together, too?" Chris asked. I opened my mouth to answer then stopped. It had just occurred to me that my family's "vegetarianism" was still unknown to my new friends.

Ignoring the puzzled looks, I continued. "Yeah, sometimes. Usually we go three or four people at a time and then separate. With too many people, well, we don't want to run into one another when the hunting instincts are kicked in. Now that I think about it, I haven't told you yet about my family. You may have been wondering about my eyes."

While Chris and Sean looked closely at my eyes, Jamie said, "Actually, I have."

"See, it turns out that human blood is not the only thing on which vampires – full vampires, I mean – can subsist. My family are all, well, we call ourselves 'vegetarians' as a sort of joke. We only drink animal blood. Usually."

"Ok, lot's of questions," Sean began. "First: usually?"

"Well sometimes we make mistakes, give in to the temptation. I killed someone a couple of months ago, my first and only kill, actually. I got in a lot of trouble but I guess that's life."

"Oh. So, why do you guys, like, abstain from human blood?" I was going to say something about how they were once human and they didn't think themselves above humans, but then I recalled our cousins in Alaska and my conversation with Jasper two months ago and decided against it.

"Different reasons, I suppose. It's very personal."

Jamie nodded. "That makes sense. After all, there are humans that are vegetarian out of compassion, and others that do it because of health concerns."

"Actually, speaking of personal things, I was wondering how one can integrate oneself into human society while also hunting them. I'm not judging, but, like, isn't it weird?"

"You said you killed someone," Jamie pointed out.

"Yeah, and now I feel weird around humans. How can they be your equals at school but then your victims when you hunt?"

"Well, I can only speak for myself – Sean and Chris might feel differently – but I don't really see them as equals. If I did, yeah, that'd be weird. I'd feel like a murderer all the time. But I can still be amiable with them. They're like pets that I can talk to and go shopping with. I'd be sad if they died, just not in the same way that I was sad when my dad died, or how it would be if Sean or Chris died." Sean nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that's a good way of describing it. I mean, I've never had a pet but it sounds about right." Chris seemed to be thinking. At last he said,

"To be honest, I've never thought about it that much. Because, I actually do think I can be friends with humans. Certainly I can be romantically interested in them. But when I'm hunting, I just turn that off. They stop being people and become food for a little while. And then I go back to school and nothing has changed. I guess I'm just a sociopath," he added, laughing. I thought the joke in bad taste but I didn't want to make him feel bad or anything. It occurred to me that I was making these people question basic facts of their lives that had gone unquestioned from their births until today. I wanted to change the subject but I couldn't think of anything that wasn't stupid, so I ended up asking,

"So how do you guys hunt? Like, do you go together? Do you prefer urban areas or isolated victims? Sorry if I'm being weird, I just really don't know anything about this stuff."

It was Sean who answered. "Nah, it's cool. We usually hunt together. Big cities make for the best hunting ground, which means you're more likely to run into others, so we try to keep to smaller areas, no bigger than Tacoma. Of course, the smaller the town, the more noticeable the deaths, so we sometimes go pretty far, out to Oregon or British Columbia, to avoid hitting the same place twice in a short time."

"Oh, yeah that makes sense. Y'know, I've actually never been to Canada."

"It's a lot like here, only the beer is stronger and the people are more trusting," he replied, adding, "which is a double benefit for us," with a wink.

"How do you mean?"

"Do you wanna see?" Jamie asked me. "Come hunting with us," she clarified when my only answer was a confused look.

"That's a great idea," declared Sean with a grin. Chris smiled warmly and expressed his approval of the suggestion as well.

In the past, I had had two types of friends. There were the human children with whom I interacted on a daily basis at the various schools I had attended throughout my life. On the whole they were kind, genuine, pleasant people but I had no common ground with them. While I read Shakespeare and Frost, they read picture books. While I was thinking about the limitations of quantum computers, they were thinking about attractive celebrities. We couldn't relate on a fundamental level, and that precluded true camaraderie. The second type was Jacob. Now, for the first time, I had a chance at real friendship with people like myself.

I was going to say no. I really, honestly, was. But when I looked at them I found it more difficult than I expected. They all looked so excited and I didn't want to disappoint them, lest I ruin everything. Of course it was illogical. Of course they would have understood. Of course I should have listened to the voice in my mind that reminded me that I had just finished being punished for essentially the exact same thing. Of course the obvious, correct answer was, "no thank you."

"Yeah, I'd love to."


End file.
